From:	BASIL::CITSDENIS    "Captain COBOL rides again, Hawayyyyyyy!!!!" 13-OCT-1986 12:58:23.24
To:	MAT24034,MAT25203,CITSPETER,CITSNEIL,CITSNIC
CC:	
Subj:	

 AND NOW (at little or no expense - actually 10p and a length of string !!)

                        PART 3 !!!!! (DA DA DA DUM !!!!)


	Theophilus thought carefully before he spoke (think , think). "Hello" he
said cheerfully, "I'm an Aardvark".

 	"Oh, I don't know," said the voice at the window, "You look intelligent
enough to me !". "Anyway, what do you want, I can't stand here all day, I've 
tons to do.... hair, make-up,nails ........".

"I-I-I want to be a student" said Theophilus, in a very quiet voice. "Speak up"
said the girl. "I want to be a student" he repeated, more loudly.

"Oh, good grief !" said the girl. "Here ? Are you sure ? Wouldn't you rather be
an Argentinian soldier, or a Sellafield worker ? Go away, and think again !!!!"

"No, my mind's made up. I want to join the Business Studies course".

"Now I know you're mad," she said. She turned to her friend. "Hey, Mave, we've
unearthed another nutter. Phone the usual will you ? I'll keep him talking."

She turned to Theophilus. "Come with me, and we'll have a nice little chat."

	It was all going rather well. Theophilus smiled. The girl emerged 
through a side door and took his arm. Then she gave it back to him !!!! They
walked back down the corridor, past the T.V. studio where this time they were
making a musical about CAMAY (yes, it was a soap opera !). Theophilus decided
to risk the Vendepac coffee. "Make that two" said the girl, "I've got some
paint to strip off an old chair."

	Two minutes later,  in came two 20-odd stone, one-eared, broken-nosed
police questioning victims.

"Ooooooooh, Cecil" said one "Isn't he a BIG boy !". "OooooooooooH ratherrrrr
Ralph," said the other.

"Okay lovey, be a dear and come with us" said Cecil. "We'll look after you. I'll
even lend you some of my dresses if you like !".

"Oh, SH**," breathed Theophilus, Trust me to get lumbered with a couple of 
Turd Burglars !".

They minced over to him and grabbed his arm. "Just put on this pink chiffon
straight jacket with garnet encrusted buckles, there's a pet !"

Poor Theophilus ! "Oh, well," he thought "at least I'm out of this madhouse !!"


                     Or was he ? ................

		To be continued only if enough demand !!!!