From:	BASIL::CITSDENIS    "Anteatus Longnosii"  2-OCT-1986 14:16:08.28
To:	CITSPETER,CITSNIC,MAT25203,MAT24034
CC:	
Subj:	Part 2........

Poor Theophilus P. Aardvark ! He had been sentenced to purgatory on the fifth
floor, and stripped of his dignity by being made, nay, compelled to lecture on
Data Processing (YAWWWWWWWNNNNNN!). It was hard to imagine being shut in a dim,
airless, room with 20 odd students with the combined intelligence of a stick 
of celery, for 2 hours. "What could be worse ?" he thought out aloud, walking
down the corridor.

	At the precise moment that he passed the lifts, the doors opened, and
out poured 3000 brain transplant donors (otherwise known as MECH. ENG. students)
and trampled him down. He picked himself up off the floor, dusting off the Doc
Marten bootprints. "That's Worse !" he said to himself. "I've got to get out of
here !"

	He made several attempts at suicide. First he tried starving himself to
death by waiting for the lift, but after two days he needed to go to the
toilet. Then, in pure desperation, he tried eating refectory lunches to try and
poison himself, but he found he liked them...poor Theophilus !

	One day, he had a great idea. "I've had a great idea !" he said. (See,
I told you he'd had a great idea !). But first, he had to keep his students
occupied long enough. "Right" said theophilus, "This afternoon, I want you to
do some logical Data Flow Diagrams". "AARRGGGGGGHHHHH !" cried the students,
making for the windows. Theophilus knew they would be kept quiet for several 
hours.

	He crept out of the room and on to the stairs. A horrible smell wafted
up the stair well. Either someone had farted, or it was pasta for lunch.
Ignoring the stench, he crept downstairs, and into M block. He passed the T.V.
studio, where they were making a programme about Corn Flakes (it was a serial)
and up to the enquiry window. He rang the bell. After about three hours, a face
appeared at the window. "Can I help you ?" a voice said ................



			to be continued ................